Each week Grey Gays turn to the Gay media for information and moral support, but what kind of reception are they getting? LG's Stephen McKenna finds out:
I seem to spend a lot of time reassuring 'lately-gays' that their age won't count against them on Planet Gay, much as they often imagine.
It's hardly an irrational fear. If a guy is in his middle years he's unlikely to have the gym-fit body he once had (thanks gravity!) and his pace of life will be several stops down from his days as a spunky twenty-year old; and yes, we can all be a little bit caught up on the eye-candy, lolling after toned Aussie-Bum boys and the preening Muscle Marys on a Pride march.
But, tish-and-pish! A lately-gay will find no shortage of sex if he wants it, and he's no need to fear a 24 year old lad chatting him up will turn out to be a rent-boy. Just as some of us like younger guys, there are those who prefer older guys.
However, the public health warning that I do have to issue concerns the gay media, most of which seems to assume that the older gay shuffles off to Shoreham-by-the-Sea on reachng forty-five, or embarks on a twilight tour of National Trust gift shops.
This reaction, for my part, isn't just some grey-and-grumpy chippiness, but a reality that's apparent in any page-flick survey of the listings freebies and the lifestyle glossies. Recent editions of GT, Attitude, AXM, Bent, Boyz & QX, thoroughly thumbed, featured virtually no pictures or content relating to anyone far above their Forties. (Cross my Playtex and hope to sag!)
Things weren't much better in the Pink Paper. As a newspaper I'd half expect a broader coverage given that they're not so 'lifestyle' based, but each week they score heavily on the ageism front with their 'Word On The Street' vox pop on a topical feature. This week, much as any other week, we have interviews with eight gay people, six of whom are twenty-three or under (75%!) while one is thirty-two, and the eighth - a whopping forty-three (cue patronising round of applause and isn't it marvellous that he can still get out!). Even then the average age is just 25.
Elsewhere in the paper there are some older faces but they do tend to be the usual suspects ie. Biggins, Cashman, Fry, Gandolf & O'Grady. (How's that for a Country act?). Yes, they are grey and gay - hurray! But their presence is more to do with celebrity than any grey payback as such.
Granted, such ageism runs through the straight media too, but on the basis that the gay community is meant to be all about fighting prejudice and hypocrisy, how can our media let itself down so badly by ignoring a whole section of its own readership.
OK, if I feel that strongly about it, you might say, why don't I set up my own magazine specifically for older gay men. Yes, I could do that and pretty well have with LG, but as a sub-group of a sub-group it's not exactly viable, and anyway, it smacks to me of a kind of 'geris-get-out' nimbyism.
This is a problem that goes beyond questions of what's fair or politically correct. The truth is the gay community, and particularly its younger people, are being denied a sense of perspective. They ought to know that there are things to which we all have to face up to in time: issues of money & savings, health, commitment and caring for the older amongst us - and not just on the basis of the odd bi-annual 'crinklies special'.
Age is something that happens to us all and there's no shortage of colourful and lively column inches to be had out of the older occupants of Planet Gay, but just what will it take for our media to acknowledge that, to put into practice the tolerance and inclusivity it's so otherwise keen to preach.
Maybe Stonewall can take a lead by reworking their 'Some People Are Gay ...' campaign. This time it should read:
"Some people are g(r)ay. Get over that!" SM/LG
It's hardly an irrational fear. If a guy is in his middle years he's unlikely to have the gym-fit body he once had (thanks gravity!) and his pace of life will be several stops down from his days as a spunky twenty-year old; and yes, we can all be a little bit caught up on the eye-candy, lolling after toned Aussie-Bum boys and the preening Muscle Marys on a Pride march.
But, tish-and-pish! A lately-gay will find no shortage of sex if he wants it, and he's no need to fear a 24 year old lad chatting him up will turn out to be a rent-boy. Just as some of us like younger guys, there are those who prefer older guys.
However, the public health warning that I do have to issue concerns the gay media, most of which seems to assume that the older gay shuffles off to Shoreham-by-the-Sea on reachng forty-five, or embarks on a twilight tour of National Trust gift shops.
This reaction, for my part, isn't just some grey-and-grumpy chippiness, but a reality that's apparent in any page-flick survey of the listings freebies and the lifestyle glossies. Recent editions of GT, Attitude, AXM, Bent, Boyz & QX, thoroughly thumbed, featured virtually no pictures or content relating to anyone far above their Forties. (Cross my Playtex and hope to sag!)
Things weren't much better in the Pink Paper. As a newspaper I'd half expect a broader coverage given that they're not so 'lifestyle' based, but each week they score heavily on the ageism front with their 'Word On The Street' vox pop on a topical feature. This week, much as any other week, we have interviews with eight gay people, six of whom are twenty-three or under (75%!) while one is thirty-two, and the eighth - a whopping forty-three (cue patronising round of applause and isn't it marvellous that he can still get out!). Even then the average age is just 25.
Elsewhere in the paper there are some older faces but they do tend to be the usual suspects ie. Biggins, Cashman, Fry, Gandolf & O'Grady. (How's that for a Country act?). Yes, they are grey and gay - hurray! But their presence is more to do with celebrity than any grey payback as such.
Granted, such ageism runs through the straight media too, but on the basis that the gay community is meant to be all about fighting prejudice and hypocrisy, how can our media let itself down so badly by ignoring a whole section of its own readership.
OK, if I feel that strongly about it, you might say, why don't I set up my own magazine specifically for older gay men. Yes, I could do that and pretty well have with LG, but as a sub-group of a sub-group it's not exactly viable, and anyway, it smacks to me of a kind of 'geris-get-out' nimbyism.
This is a problem that goes beyond questions of what's fair or politically correct. The truth is the gay community, and particularly its younger people, are being denied a sense of perspective. They ought to know that there are things to which we all have to face up to in time: issues of money & savings, health, commitment and caring for the older amongst us - and not just on the basis of the odd bi-annual 'crinklies special'.
Age is something that happens to us all and there's no shortage of colourful and lively column inches to be had out of the older occupants of Planet Gay, but just what will it take for our media to acknowledge that, to put into practice the tolerance and inclusivity it's so otherwise keen to preach.
Maybe Stonewall can take a lead by reworking their 'Some People Are Gay ...' campaign. This time it should read:
"Some people are g(r)ay. Get over that!" SM/LG
2 comments:
Stephen, I just found your blog after a long search for a forum for gay men of around 40 and older who have been side lined by the media that dominates today's popular culture. I'm (only) 41 and although I have self-identified as gay since my earliest teens I didn't come out until my mid thirties. I am of the generation of gay men who grew into adulthood in the shadow of HIV/AIDS and as society was on the cusp of greater acceptance of non-straight sexual orientation.
For me buying my first copies of Gay Times was an act of transgression. Back then, in the late 80s and early 90s, GT was a radical, campaigning magazine that played an important part in the battle that has now been, in some ways, won.
I say "in some ways" because those that benefitted most were the next generation. I am not bitter about this - far from it, it was a battle that had to be won. But I am sad that the media now more-or-less ignored those who lived through that battle. I am not talking about the (wonderful) activists. Im talking about ordinary gay men growing up through it all.
Our collective story, and our individual stories, need an outlet like yours. Thanks for taking this initiative.
Malcolm xxx
"Some people are grey - get over it" ... very funny!!
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